“John is really interested in you Nickie,” Kiesha said after swallowing a mouthful of chocolate milk shake.
“He is not my cup of tea,” Nickie replied with a smirk of disgust on her face.
“Come on, he is really a nice guy. Give the fellow a chance,” Kiesha pleaded.
“He can’t even speak proper English. And look at the way he dresses. The guy belongs to the Stone Age. I’d be so embarrassed to be seen with him,” irritation coloured Nikie’s voice. She swallowed another draught of shake.
“Guess that’s what John must be saying about you. He doesn’t even look at you, yet you are dying to be in his company. Check the girls he hangs out with – the queen show contestants and top cheer leaders. The sports-man-of the year don’t have time for plain girls like us Nickie. Wake up!” Keisha sharply countered.
“Let’s drop the topic. O.K,” Nickie slammed the empty glass down on the table.
Nickie has displayed her disgust for John because the value she places on John. John had a very low romantic market value.
Similarly men are attracted to women they can showcase to their friends and family – trophy or high-value women. Men desire women who will make their friends stare in admiration and wonder. We all want partners who can enhance our image and persona.
International renown communication expert Leil Lowndes says “studies do support the thesis that everyone has a quantifiable value on the open market. And everybody wants to get the best possible deal as well in life. Researchers christened their findings as the equity (or exchange) theory of love.”
In simple terms we all want a person what is sometimes referred as a “catch.”
The way to get the best “catch” is to become a good “catch” yourself.
How can we become the best “catch for the persons we want to attract? How can we increase our market value to lure romantic shoppers of our choice?
First you must accept that most people are attracted to others who have equal or higher ratings than themselves. Scarcely are we attracted to people who are somewhat “inferior” to us.
Lowndes in her best selling book “How To Make Anyone Fall In Love With You,” says that there are six elements which are assets when lovers go husband or wife shopping:
1. Physical appearance – beauty
2. Material possessions – wealth
3. Social standing or popularity – prestige/power
4. Information or knowledge – intelligence
5. Social graces, manners, charisma – personality
6. Inner nature – character
“Researchers tell us that in the happiest relationships are with people who are more or less equal in each of the above categories. If not, there qualities balance out each other out across the board,” Lowndes said.
Have you noticed that people with money tend to marry other persons with money. Children of upper class families scarcely marry into families of working class families. Similarly most people tend to marry others who are nearly as physically attractive as there are. Many couples tend to look like brother and sister. Studies from all over the world (USA, Canada, Germany, Japan) show that men and women usually marry someone as attractive as they are.
Yes people can and do become involve with others who may not be as beautiful as they are. However that person would compensate in having a high rating in another category. That is, when a beauty queen marries a beast, he is usually very rich or powerful. Similarly when high status family marries down the social ladder the person is usually very attractive or highly intelligent. There is a good trade off in another section – like Prince Charles and Lady Dianna.